…at the thought of loosing you. What is left after the darkness comes? You cannot repeat your days - only fill them, or try to, with different joys.
…at the thought of loosing you. What is left after the darkness comes? You cannot repeat your days - only fill them, or try to, with different joys.
The strongest love lasts throughout the hardest turmoil. Love… I think… love is more than avoiding obstacles, Love is being superheros and having a bad day, week, or whatever off season of love, and putting your heads together, working it out, and coming out on top as fighters, winners, and teammates.
…sometimes it just takes going back in time to the first time you knew you were in love…
Happy Loving to You All!
Words have been said to describe people like you. Words such as lovely, sturdy, and compassionate. But you are so much more than that.
Am I a fool for thinking that someone like you could ever want a person like me? You always say I regard you too highly. But if its up to me, I’d say that you regard yourself too lowly. And I’m at a loss for words when it comes to you. I tried to describe you to my friends and family, and I can’t. I open up my mouth and the words just don’t come out and I can’t breathe, can’t speak, can’t think - all I can do is smile.
I love you.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.
Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like a disaster.
-Elizabeth Bishop
I can’t make you change your mind. I just wish you could see the good inside yourself that I see. I know I’m intense but you do deserve me - and I sure as hell deserve a guy like you for a change. You’re good. You are kind, reasonable, responsible, and most of all compassionate. I love everything about you.
And its not even that I love you because you are these things, because I COULD probably find someone who was also these things… But they aren’t you. And that’s what I love about you. I love you for your faults, your mistakes, because they make you you. I love you for your good qualities because they are there because you are you. I just love you for you.
I don’t have an exact reason why I love you, other than the fact that you are who you are. So I suggest you shut up about not deserving me, and kiss me like they do in the movies. Because I love you. And you leaving or you staying isn’t gonna change that. Only one of them will leave me heartbroken and one isn’t.
And it’s true that I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me back.. But you DID say you love me - that you want me, you admire and care for me; that you want to be with me and love me and give me all that you can.
I don’t care if you are rich or poor, busy or lazy. I love YOU - YOU with your busy schedule, you with your old car, you with your empty wallet. I want you with your scruffy face and your calloused hands and the dirt under your nails. I want you with your late nights and your early mornings and your hour long coffee sessions in the morning. I want you with your love of guitars and your passion for giving. I want you with your doubts and your troubles and bad dreams. I want you with your machismo and your insecurities. I want the good, the bad, the ugly. I want it all. I want you with your bumps and your bruises and your victories. I want all of you. I’ve wanted you since we met, I want you now, I will want you for days, weeks, months to come.
I love you if you do or don’t love me back. But you DID say you love me.
I can’t keep you from leaving, but I’ll still love you either way. Be mine.
What does it mean to be in love? I have fallen for a man, I have fallen for a dream, but now I have learned a new kind of love.
During Easter I fell in love with a little town by a big lake where all of the people are like homemade cookies. Some are a little toasty around the edges, gooey on the inside, and they make you smile and giggle like little school children. I fell in love with a community of lovers, dreamers, and gatherers.
Hard working people are hard to find. These people - each and every individual person, whether they know it or not - are beautiful, with the biggest hearts one could ever hope to find.
When I first visited the town, it was like I entered into a movie, where everything was quaint and unrealistically small-town, gorgeous. I never knew towns like that actually existed. Maxing out at roughly 3,000 people, everyone knows everybody else. The film-like “diner down the road” is really, very much right down the road from every house in the neighborhood. There are the trouble makers, the good ones, the ones that never left, and the ones that got away - but even they come back to their roots when they can, because nothing says “home” like taking in your car to be fixed by, Jerry on the corner, the local mechanic that knows every being from head to toe that has ever stepped foot in his shop.
The grandmothers still cook for their children and their children’s children every chance they get and the bartenders know every boy and gal on the block. I am talking about a place where you can walk into the diner and ask for “the usual” and they will know what you mean, because you’ve been going there since before you could walk. This is a place where you will wave to any given person walking down the street, or driving by and they’ll honk with that familiar smile on their face and everyone goes way back. This is a place where people love.
It astounds me how, no matter what shenanigans go down throughout every year, the people all come together as if they were all one big family, and dance the night away together at the summer festivities. I’m not kidding… it’s really as if it were from a motion picture. After a while, you might even think you can hear background music to the scenes of their everyday life.
Falling in love comes in all shapes and sizes, but if you ever travel up north to Rogers City, Michigan, be sure to bring your big heart, and your tissues for when it’s time to go, because the people, the scenery, and the clarity of God’s blessings in this place will take up more than just a small place in your heart - it’ll fill it. And when the time comes for you to pack your bags, your heart will just as soon break when that seatbelt clicks and the reality of leaving sets in. Sometimes, the best things come in small packages and I am certain that it is God’s special little hidden blessing to the world, where all cares will go away and life regains clarity and falling in love gains a bigger meaning than our busy lives realize could be.
…can be one of the most difficult things to learn. Some say that I’m too young to know what love is or how to appreciate it.
I’ve always wanted to change, but didn’t know how. So many people can try to change you. They tell you that if you do this, that, and the other then your life will change and it will be better. I wanted someone to show me that you and you only can change your life. Not by words, but by simply living their life. I wanted to know that my life can be better. I didn’t know that someone could show me better by being better.
You, are that person
More than that, you overcome every obstacle with grace. And yet, you still strive with every breath to be better. You don’t simply conquer life’s curve balls, you don’t stop at being a good person, YOU keep going. I know what it means to give 110% because of the way you are.
You love others unconditionally no matter how close you are with them. The compassion you show towards me, your family, and friends - even acquaintances - astounds me and stumps me. Always putting others before yourself as if it is common sense. You, are a rare breed.
You try. You know what you have to do, and you go after it. And when you aren’t pleased with your actions, you take responsibility. But you don’t do it to make yourself feel better, you do it for the good of those you love. You fix it the best way you know how.
You show me that life doesn’t have to be spent constantly looking over your shoulder. You show me that life is a great thing that can be shared. And though, sometimes its hard to depend on others, and its scary to let someone in, it is so worth it.
I am far from the person you are, but you show me the type of person I want to be. I’m not saying you’re perfect, but I’m saying, thank you for being a person of fault. Because without those faults, you would have never overcome them. You would not be the person you are today. I like to think that someday I will learn to transform my past into my gallant future as a splendid human being as you have done.
Out of all the things you’ve been through and seen, and conduct yourself with such poise, I could never have made a better pick. I always tried to find someone who challenges me, crashes into me with reality, builds me with confidence, and who makes my heart fly - I never knew I would be so lucky as to find that person.
These things, among so many more are why I love you so much. Out of the many reasons to love a man, the fact that its you makes up the first few hundred as to why I love you.
And in my later days, if nothing else, I’m just glad to have met someone who has influenced me to be a better gal. You change lives everywhere you go - thank you for changing mine as well, just by being you.
Thank you for teaching me how to love…
…includes all the answers to all the things that we don’t care about, but never the answers to the things that are on our mind. How come it is so simple to get the recipe for scrumptious cookies, but we can’t just look up the meaning of love in a book?
Sometimes I think that everything would be easier if I just ignored any problem that came my way. But as I was sitting there thinking about that, and taking what seemed like a lifetime completely disregarding my issues, I almost let something go - something that shook me up. It was then in that moment that I realized that some things are worth fighting for, and sometimes, when you let something, you might not have a chance to get it back.
If you let something go today, who’s to say that tomorrow will come? Then you’ve lost that thing - whether that’s a dream, a pursuit, a relationship, or a chance to do something for yourself or someone else - and the idea of it could be gone.
Some say that if you love something, let it go. I SAY if you love something, fight like hell, because if you can’t picture the end of your life without that thing, or without at least trying, then NOW is your chance to get it right. If it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work. You have to be careful that you don’t push it too far, but you DO have to at least try.
Find what it is that you believe in, that you want more than anything, and always think twice before you let something go. What choices if you make if you didn’t have a tomorrow to come back to? if you could never do it again? if you could never take it back?
This morning when I woke up, the sun was shining and I was in love with a man that I am fortunate enough to call my own. I guess I haven’t counted my blessings much because I always seem to blame life for all the bad things but never appreciate the good. I always say that life is never unfair on my behalf, yet, when you picked me up in your c.r.v., I realized that just this once, life was most certainly, more than definitely unfair on my behalf. How was it that I happened to be so blessed with this rare and beautiful man, and nobody else gets to have him? You, love, are a gift.
As I end the day sitting in my dorm room bed, I realize that I am not only just simply “in love” if there is ever a just simple way to be in that state. I am purely and utterly head-over-heels, and rather crazy for you.
Today we went to Lowe’s Hardware store and, among rummaging through faucets and drawer knobs, chandeliers and rugs, we managed to laugh more than I have laughed in an entire days time in a very long time. We had fun. We talked, we smiled, and I am the luckiest girl in the world.
Somehow, God sent me my own precious gift, and that, my love, is you. I know not whether you be an angel, a guardian, or simply a gift sent directly -either way, it is no coincidence that you and I met like we did. There is no denying divine intervention. And no matter what may happen, this day I shall never forget - the smiles over Twilight French Toast, the giggles in the hardware store, and the kisses as we said goodbye in the car. You have touched my life in ways which words will never be able to describe. And I love you… very, very much.
I used to be that little kid in class that was kind of a nerd. I didn’t exactly know how to dress myself, I didn’t know which toys were cool, and I certainly didn’t know how to talk to people. I had the best of intentions, but the words never quite came out the way I had planned - that or sometimes people didn’t exactly understand what I was trying to say. Sometimes it was just a comment that was meant to be nice but made things just a tad awkward for everyone, and sometimes it was just an unintentional passive aggressive comment. Whichever the case, I never meant it to be mean or weird.. it just was.
I’m not the only one that does this, though. Sometimes people do things that upset us, and we get so worked up and perhaps angry at them, but we never take the time to think about WHY they would say the things or do the things they did. And when you stop, put your pride aside, and think of the reasons that this person whom we care about would do such a thing, sometimes it was just a good intention gone wrong - or perhaps right if you actually listened to them.
For example, girls get mad at their ex-boyfriends purely for breaking up with them, even though when you think about it, they had the courage to tell you that they don’t feel the same way. It isn’t an easy thing to do, and why be with someone who doesn’t want you back? Would you rather they stay and be unhappy? No. They had good intentions, but it seems like a bad thing.
Sometimes it’s a parent that forbade you to do something, and you resent them for it. I speak from experience that my parents were the object of my anger many times. I thought they were unfair. I thought they were mean. But now, looking back, I can see how every lesson that they taught me was worth it. “You’ll thank me someday,” was entirely true, even if I will never be able to admit it..
We get so caught up with what actually happened or what was actually said that we don’t take the time to think about what their reasons were. And the only reason it hurts so much, is because that person means so much. And a person only means that much because they’ve made that much of an impact in our lives. We cannot think that a person who has proved themselves that much can do something like that without a reason - whether they know what it is or not. And if it is hard for them to explain, a person that means that much, is what happened worth getting mad over or giving up on that person? When you put your pride aside and put yourself in their shoes, often times you’ll realize that if tomorrow never came, this little mishap wouldn’t mean a thing, and that you may have done the same thing.
Tomorrow isn’t assured. Make what is worth it, worth it. Forget the things that don’t matter and live by love when life throws you curveballs.
Love. Grace. Life.
I called my grandma yesterday for Valentine’s Day. I hadn’t called my grandma in a long while. I was too busy with my friends, social life, and almost school. I never even realized that once a month she went out to lunch with friends (including my mother) and call themselves the “Lunch Bunch”. I didn’t know that if it’s too snowy to go to the gym, she does her daily walk in her house by walking around for 15 minutes. There was so much more that I realized in just ten minutes, and it hit me that, I don’t take the time to appreciate my grandmother as much as should. She has done so much for me and has always been there for my brother and how many people do the same that I don’t appreciate enough. I am shown far too much grace and love from far too many people for my far too far from perfect self.
My family is unorthodox. I do not look like my family, and we are not biologically related. But the only thing that matters is that, somehow, they put up with me. They are the ones that kissed my cuts and bruises when I fell down the stairs. They are the ones that sat with me, cried with me, and brought me soup when I was sick. Yet, time and time again, I let them down, but time and time again they took care of me.
And then I realized that it isn’t just my family - it’s my friends, my family, teachers, roommates, boyfriend, ex-boyfriends, and numerous others. I then saw that family is anyone who has ever let me in.
Who are you? Who is your family? Who could you not live without? Is it the lady across the street that always waves and smiles and gives you the feeling that everything is going to be ok, but that you never really though twice about? She is family. Your family is made of the people who make your day a little brighter, or a little more full of grace, whether contributing in big ways or small ways.
But the thing is, those people that make my day brighter everyday, I don’t always extend the same grace to them than they show towards me. Tomorrow’s existence isn’t assured. Let’s extend grace to everyone. Maybe we can become one of those people that makes someone else’s day possible. One of those people that someone would miss if their whole life changed whether they realize it or not. Life is too damn short to not make someone smile at least once everyday. Be honest with yourself. Do something that makes you feel good by doing something that makes someone else feel good.
Love. Grace. Life.
…in love with love while it lasts?
Why do people always find new ways to get inside your head and curl their fingers around your brain making you think about them all the time. And then they look with those eyes.. those eyes that you can’t get away from, and look straight into your heart so that you start to feel close to them. And if that’s not enough, they touch, with their gentlest of touches, the small of your back that makes you tingle so that you want them so bad?
And when they have accomplished all of that, they take a moment to soak it all in. The next step is to leave.
Your brain is haunted by memories, your heart is left in pieces, and there is no one beside you to hold, and then you feel lonely.
The thing is, is that you know it’s just going to happen all over again, whether it be with the same person, or the next one that comes along. But that’s not even the worst part.
The worst part is knowing that you and your stupid self are going to let it happen. You see it. It happens right before your eyes, but you don’t walk away because “This time it will be different.”
How many times did you say that with the others? Because once you say that, that’s how the process begins.
But maybe… just maybe it really will be different this time. You just have to find the person that is up for the challenge.
If you want me, show me. If you need me, tell me. If you have me, show me off. And if I’m worth it, fight for me.
Find the one who isn’t ashamed to let you and the world know how they feel. But if they leave, perhaps they never really were that person. If they come back, maybe they realized how dumb they were. If nothing changes, they really are dumb.
There is no sure answer to any question about love.
#gowiththeflow
Another day has gone by. Yesterday Vince broke up with me. Its funny how someone so close could say “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me” and the very next day tell me that he didn’t want to be with you.
I try to smile, but I felt so close. I always open up too fast. And it kills me because this time, I decided to be open from the start - to trust, and depend on him. Not depend on him for happiness, but to rely on him for security when I was an open wound.
I just want to scream at him and tell him to come back. But I can’t be selfish. If I truly care about him, I will let him go. And if I do mean as much to him as he said I did, he will come back. So for now, I will cry over my keyboard and weep over my phone’s full battery because I have no one to message anymore.
I could have sworn that it was impossible to feel this empty after such a short time? I feel like my life is like a movie. Where you fall for someone so quickly, but in my life, it never actually lasts. So pretty much like a Nicholas Spars book.
Today is the sunniest day it’s been in a long while, but it feels like it’s raining.
Maybe I’ll just give up. Clearly trying isn’t worth it.
…to being in a relationship. But I’m not opposed to not be in one. I am 100% content with being alone.
That’s not to say that I am incapable, or would avoid men because I would be resisting a relationship. I just want to live. And if something happens, then something happens.
IF ONE WERE TO COME ALONG AND IF I HAD TO MAKE A LIST OF DESIRABLE TRAITS OF THE MAN/RELATIONSHIP… this would be it:
And if he isn’t any of these things, if tries for me, that’s good enough(:
THAT ORRR he IS Dave Franco…
“why is that squirrel chasing the other squirrel?”
“because he loves her.”
“why is she running away?”
“because she is scared.”
Why do we fall in love, just to fall out of it and in again with someone new?
WHY NOT?
Then, why do we get married?
Why not feel like you are falling in love again and again every day of your life?
Why do we try as high school, college, or grad school students date? I do firmly believe that we date different people to feel the same fuzzy feeling with someone new. Or at least that’s why we break up. Its not ever why we say it is.
But I believe that when you finally find that one person that you could be with for the rest of your time on earth, you wont need to break up. You wont want a new spark, because you feel it every day with her or him.
WHY NOT?!
Everyday. My new philosophy. Perhaps if you never think twice about what you do, or who you talk to.. Perhaps if you live in the moment. Give everything and everyone a chance. Never saying “he’s not my type” or “she and i don’t like the same music”… WHO CARES? Give them a chance. Lightning could strike.
Would you wanna pass up a lifetime of fuzzy feelings and butterflies just because “she likes country”?
Do it. You never know what could happen if you do!