I am sad. I want to go home. Not my “home” that I’m at right now, but home home. Home is where the heart is. Where your soul feels safe, and your mind feels free. Home is where you can run into the arms of the ones you love whenever you want and you will always be content even if times are hard. Home is where you can feel and give the most love. Home is where you can be in love with him or her. Home is where you can finally relax, though your body is stressed, and your mind is constantly busy. Home is where I want to be. To be with you - and only you - from now until the rest of forever.
I am tired. I want to sleep. But sleep is distant from me. It wanders away as if its looking for me and I for it, but we are two ships passing in the night, just barely missing each other. I want to get away and dream of a far away land with you where sailboats glide on the bluest of blue oceans, and seagulls soar in the bluest of blue skies. I want to dream, and maybe, just maybe, if I dream hard and long enough, my dream will become reality and I can dream forever and always until the last day.
I am lonely. But I know you are with me. I cannot wait until the day I see your face again. I want to run away with you. We could go to Korea, Fiji, or Bora Bora. You know I love Bora Bora. Let’s go. Let’s buy a one way ticket and get away from the craziness that has become our lives. Let’s get in the car and drive and never look in the rear view mirror.
I am learning to forget the past, and look towards the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Does it really matter how we found the rainbow or where? Whether we follow it from the beginning or the middle, we’ll all get to the end somehow. Or should it matter? I can’t let go of MY past. How can I say to a person “It doesn’t matter where you’ve been, but who you are now and how you plan to get to where you are going” if I can’t even drop searching for the start to my life?
But you are teaching me how to deal with this. You teach me how t learn from it, to handle it, and to find what I want to know in a justifiable way. You give me hope, and I love you. How could I not? I am at home with you, and you with me. Love me forever, and even if you don’t, I shall. But I just need to get out of this place.