one didn’t want me, and the other doesn’t understand that it hurt. I just wish I could close my head to not think about the former, and open my head to the latter so they would see how I feel. Is it selfish that I always feel sad? I always feel like I should be happy for the sake of those around me. I want to be around my friends, but I drive them away by being someone I’m not just so that I don’t appear to be sad. And when that happens, I just feel abandoned all over again. What a paradox…