…that he finally ended things. He ended things for good. All of my worries and doubts are… how you say… irrelevant now, because those things are none of my business…
I thought I would be relieved? Because I kept wondering if/when we were going to end… And I wasn’t sure what I would do when I got back to school IF I go back to school, because.. well… just because. And I thought this would solve everything that had to do with him.
But now? Now I feel hurt, empty, sad, alone… Like the one person who had me convinced that they cared has finally gotten down from his pedestal and has given back his gold medal… So it leaves me thinking: If everyone does this to me.. not everyone can be bad
…this is all my fault…
I push people away. Though I won’t cry because my boyfriend broke up with me, I’ll still be sad.. maybe it’s worse that I can’t cry right now.
…I tried to cry and I can’t. But I’m so, so sad. …maybe I’m loosing it. Every tree I saw on my way home from my friend’s house tonight looked like a very elligable tree to accidentally crash into…
I’m so hurt. I can’t breath, but I can’t cry. I cant feel and my whole body is numb. I feel like a giant weight. I can’t do this… I can’t…
Why is it necessary to give me love, and then ask for it back? …I do not understand…